Stumped2011's Journals

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It Burns a Hole Through Everyone That Feels It (Chad Gilbert) ONESHOT

His rounded face. His bushy chin. His thin lips curled into a smile. The way his head was tilting to the side. His brown eyes. They were smiling too.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, his deep voice ringing throughout my head, disrupting my thoughts.

I reached out and ran my fingers through his short brown hair. "You", I answered leaning forward to be closer to his face. "You're so adorable."

He leaned forward from the wall to the side of my bed which he was sitting on, meeting my face and planting his lips on mine. He brought his lips just a millimeter away from mine and muttered, "I was staring at you, too. You're so beautiful, babe."

I was always at a loss for words when he said things like that to me. He, used to it, pulled me close for another kiss. "I love you", he breathed on my lips before he did.

I could respond to that. " I love you too", I whispered into his mouth. That response was instant. Almost robotic. Chad could sense it. He pulled away from me and held onto my shoulders, studying my quizzically.

"You mean that?"

I swallowed. Of course I meant it. I wouldn't have said it if I didnâ�™t. It was him I was worried about. "Do you?"

Love was an over used word and when said by a teenage boy like Chad, it was usually just as a magic word to get into a girl's pants.

I loved more than just Chad's dick though. I loved every damn bit of him. From head to toe. But his love I wasnâ�™t so sure about. If he could see into my heart, the love I had for him would actually melt a whole right through his body like it was doing to mine, but I couldn't see into his heart. No matter what he told me, I didnâ�™t know his real intentions. Even through all his loving words, I still couldnâ�™t trust him.

He tilted his head to the other side in confusion. "Of course I do. You know that."

"No I donâ�™t", I answered bluntly. I really didnâ�™t know why those words were coming out like that. "You may tell that you do, but I donâ�™t know that for sure."

Chad studied me for awhile in silence. I studied him back, watching all the features of his face that I loved etched with thought. I was inspecting him so hard, that I didnâ�™t even notice his grip on my arms gradually increasing, until all of a sudden it happened. He kissed me. But this was no ordinary kiss. He had kissed me many times before, yet this one was somehow different. It felt different. Like as our mouths connected, our souls were connecting also. And finally I saw how he felt. He didn't just want to fuck me, he actually loved me.

He pulled away. "I love you." He meant it. There was no more questioning.

I Wanna Scream I Love You From the Top of My Lungs (Hunter Burgan) But I'm Afraid That Someone Else Will Hear Me ONSHOT

Part 2 of my drabble war with Valerie.
Taste vengance bitch.

I was just mentally forming a happy face with the various shapes on my whitewashed ceiling when the cell phone resting on my stomach started vibrating. Without turning my attention away from the ceiling, I picked the phone up and opened the message. I didnâ�™t have to check. I already knew who the message was from.

Instantly the light radiating from the screen illuminated my entire room as I read: My folks are asleep. I'll be there in a few minutes.

I closed my phone, destroying the light, and stared back at the ceiling. The phone, which I had just placed on my chest, was slightly shaking with the beat of my racing pulse.

I reached to my side for the remote and sat up slightly. I pressed the ON/OFF button at the top of my remote to flick on the even brighter television, hoping that the mindless reality show that was playing across the screen would somehow lessen the severity of the thoughts that were flooding my head. It didn't really help. My brain was so intoxicated with contemplation that I could barely even keep my slightly tired eyes on the screen.

Why did I have to fall for this boy? The extremely melodramatic, very difficult to understand, brother of my best friend.

And why did it have to be a secret? If he loved me as much as he claimed, he would have no problem telling other people. After all I wanted to scream my love for him to the rooftops. But I couldnâ�™t.

I lied back down on my soft bed sheets and rolled on my side to face the space that my secret lover would soon occupy. I hated secrets. They burned at my insides. A flood of words that should be let loose to flow over those who needed to know, and my mouth was the damn keeping them back. It was too much pressure. The damn needed to break. The damn will to break. Just how will they react to the chilly water is the question.

I was frightened out of my thoughts by a knock at my window. There was pretty much no time in between the first knock and me pulling open the window.

His nimble body skillfully cross the small, rectangular opening to the barrier separating the two of us and into my waiting arms. He wrapped his thin, hoodie clothed arms around my body and placed his chapped lips on mine. Even though the air outside was freezing, his mouth was still so warm. Then he pulled away from my face slightly to stare at my face and smile. His bright blue eyes seemed to light up my room more than my TV or phone ever could. "I love you", he murmured softly. Almost like a whisper. We didnâ�™t need to whisper.

"I love you too", I whispered back. I was so used to our secret, that I had to remind myself to say his name. "Hunter."

How Does it Feel to Know That I Love You Baby [Chad Kroger] (For Valerie)

"How did I ever manage to find you?" he whispered at my forehead after placing his lips there only a second before.

I nuzzled my head into the fabric of his thin shirt and closed my eyes. "How did I ever manage to keep you?" I mumbled.

One of his hands which were both resting on my back slid up to my head to run its thin fingers through my long black hair while another snuck down and rested on the small of my back. Just a stroke from his warm fingers on the small strip of exposed skin at the bottom of my shirt was enough to warm my entire body. His hands on my body fit like the missing pieces of a puzzle. It was a whole different feeling when compared to him touching me. His rough hands invading my body, yanking my hair, squeezing and slapping wherever he pleased, like I was somehow less human than him. I see now that he was actually less human than me...

He brought his mouth down lower to kiss my lips and planted another soft kiss on them, his long, curly, blonde locks tickling my face. He smiled into my lips. How could he smile at a time like this? He was about to do something that was going to benefit me and I wasnâ�™t even happy about it. "I'll always love you", he mumbled against my lips. "No matter what."

"I love you too", I replied. I pulled away from his lips. "You don't have to do this, babe. I can't let you. There has to be another way."

The hand that was on the small of my back slid away from my body and back to his. A few seconds later I could feel the cool steel being drawn from his pocket. It sent a chill down my spine just as fast as the warmth of my lover's touch was sent shooting up it. "I have to do this, baby. I can't let him hurt you again... Ever."

"But this is too far, Chad!" I exclaimed, jumping out of his arms as if freeze from the gun had burned me. "This will destroy your life. I can't ask you to do that! Not for me."

He took a step closer to me and took a soft grip on my shoulders. He stared into my brown eyes with his bright blue ones. "But its not only hurting you, its torturing me to. Knowing that he hurt you like that, it tears me apart. I'm not just ending this for you, I'm doing it for the both of us."

Even though I was paying a little more attention to the fact that he was waving the loaded gun in his hand frantically in the air, his words still sunk in.

I looked him back in his eyes and nodded. That was the only confirmation he needed. He kissed my lips again. "Don't worry. He's never going to hurt us again."

What Did I Do?

What did I do to deserve your silence?
Was it because I wasn't girly enough?
I was never one to flaunt.
Did I ask for too much?
Most of my sentences did begin in I want...
Maybe its because I'm so far away.
So many miles to be driving
when you're drowning
in all
the alcohol.
It ruined my life
once it became your new wife.
It burns the open wound you left on me
when you seperated yourself from me.
Permenantly?
Does it numb your pain?
Do you feel the pain at all?
No. If you did you would call.
Make some effort to see me at all.
When I'm around you, I sew my mouth closed
to hold back the truth from you and the danger it could pose.
But one day my words will break through my teeth
and you will see
the monster you've made of me.
Until then, I try to keep myself tame
until you realize that Daddy is more than just a name
that you have lost the right to claim.

Its okay.

How could we let ourselves become this?
Using eachother for just a few moments of bliss.
You used to mean the world to me.
Well you still do actually.
I know that I need to stop it,
but how can I when you keep my heart in your back pocket?
So keep tugging at every heart string.
Keep building me up just to bring
me back me back down.
Keep me on the ground.
From me you won't hear a peep
of complaints as long as you keep
letting me hear you voice everynight before I sleep.

So Of Course I'll Be Distracted While I'm Spiking the Punch Patrick Stump Part 24

I know its been months since I updated this story. School's a bitch. I know its short but I hope you enjoy!

Ashley's POVI sat on the couch next to Joe eating cereal and watching people setting up the party carry tables and decorations through the living room and to the back yard. Patrick had to go to work so he left Pete in charge of making sure the workers were arranging everything for tonight's party just right. I felt sorry for those workers. You could hear Pete screaming instructions from the backyard.
"No. Thatâ�™s not right!" The obsessive compulsive's voice shouted. "That chair goes over there!"
"I am so glad he doesnâ�™t live with us anymore", Andy murmured from the lazy next to the couch as he brought another spoonful of oatmeal to his lips.
"I'm not", Valerie said as she sat next to me on the couch with her bowl of Captain Crunch. "Now thatâ�™s all I hear all day and night." Valerie looked behind the couch and up at the stairs. "Where's Billy?"
"He's still in Patrick's room", I replied through a mouth full of Cocoa Puffs keeping my eyes on the episode of Maury that was unfolding on the flat screen in front of us. "For some reason he refused to come down for breakfast."
"Why? What'd you say to him?"
"Nothing. I just said that his cereal was ready and that you and Pete were here and he just asked me to bring the cereal up to the room and that he was staying in there."
"Hmm...", Valerie mumbled before dropping her spoon back into her bowl. "Do you think he hates me?" she asked in a more hushed voice.
"Why do you care?" I asked in a louder voice. "Do you like him?"
"No", she replied quickly. "I'm just worried that he doesnâ�™t feel as welcome with me around and that I am stunting his healing process. That's all."
"Yeah I donâ�™t think Pete will see it the same way", I commented as I reached into my pocket for my vibrating phone. I balanced my half empty bowl of cereal in one hand and my phone in the other to read the screen.
"Brendon" white words spelt across a red background on the screen.
"Why is Brendon calling me?" I thought to myself as I slid the phone open and placed its hard, cold plastic against my ear. "Hello?"
"Ashley?" Brendon's voice asked. "How are you? Is Patrick there with you?"
"No, he's at work", I answered slightly bewildered. "Why? Is something wrong?"
"No. Thatâ�™s good. Listen. Do you think you can come over here? I need to discuss something with you."
"Um... Okay. Uh... Should I wait for Patrick to get home from work and bring him too?"
"No!" Brendon nearly screamed. "Listen, whatever you do, do not tell Patrick you talked to me. I have something extremely important to talk to you about. Its crucial that you come as soon as possible. It concerns your safety and the safety of countless others."
Immediately I knew what Brendon was talking about. But how would he know about Patrick? He couldnâ�™t. if he did, he would have sent him back.
"Okay", I said with a hint of false bewilderment trying to sound like I didnâ�™t know what he was talking about. I'll be there in about an hour."
I hung up my phone and just stared off into the distance in thought. I squeezed my phone in my hand, wondering if I really should call Patrick. But I quickly realized how bad of an idea that was. He said that he was never going to hurt anyone again after today, but with faced with the possibility of going back to the asylum, I donâ�™t know what he would have done.
I placed my still half empty bowl on the stand next to the couch and got up. "Ill be right back", I muttered as I slid my feet into Patrick's mandals and started towards the door.
Valerie made some joke about me and Brendon as I exited the house but I was to scared to hear her. There was only one thing on my mind.

Nothing From Nowhere (Adam Carson) I'm No One At All Part 5

Sorry I skipped part 5. Here it is. :].

"Well that was fun", Valerie said as we walked downstairs after we'd left Hunter's apartment with Adam whom we were taking home. "I didn't know they made a vinyl for I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred and that you knew all the words."
"Shut up" I countered as we reached the parking lot. "After you've lived with that your entire life, there's certain songs and such you just know". Just then the sound of Valerie's Just Like Heaven by The Cure rang through the night air. This ring tone only went off when Jade was calling.
"What's up, Hun?" she answered after putting the cell to her ear. "Oh my god, really? That's funny. Ok we'll meet you there." She hung up.
"What happened?" I asked as I withdrew my keep and punched small red button on the tiny remote that unlocked my automobile.
"Davey got into a fight at the movies", Valerie answered getting in. "We're supposed to meet him and Jade at the mall."
"Wow" I said as I stepped into the driver's seat. "Leave it to Ms. Man to get into a fight probably with another Ms. Man in the middle of a movie. Adam got in and sat quietly in the back seat and it was only just then that I remembered he was there.
"Oh yeah. I figure you wouldn't like to accompany us to the mall, huh Adam?" Adam just shook his head.
"Ok I'll take you home. Where do you live?"
"The apartments on Dewberry Lane", he said quietly.
"I know where that is", I said putting on my seat belt. "Just hold on because I tend to get pretty reckless after I've had a few Vitamin Waters." I started the car and drove down the busy crowded free way with the lights of the city flashing on my windshield. I hated Adam's apartments because it was probably the most intimidating thing in the city. All 13 stories of it were made up of old worn brick and dark windows so where you could never tell who was looking out at you. If I didn't know for a fact that their layers were the fancy expensive uptown apartments that I unfortunately occupied along with them, I would be convinced the Condors inhabited that place.
It seemed to be the only thing that didn't intimidate Adam, who just opened the car door and got out. The entrance looked like a huge mouth engulfing him. Its many huge eyes staring at me, daring me to come in after him. Luckily I didn't, however, and just sped off.
"So how karaoke night at Hunter's?" Davey asked taking a bite off the ass off a gummy shark as we sat in the food court at the mall.
"Oh it was okay", Valerie said sucking on her dildo pop. "Sang Your Beautiful by James Blunt on karaoke, Played truth or dare, Ashley kissed one of Hunter's friends..."
"You kissed who?!" Davey exclaimed nearly choking on his Full Throttle.
"Your brother has friends?" Jade asked confused eating a gummy worm.
"Shut up", I said playing with some gumballs. "It was a dare."
"That you gave in to a little too willingly", Valerie muttered taking a sip of her vitamin water.
"Oooo", Davey teased. "Ashley's gonna get some."
"Hey I got some condoms in the car just in case you want to stop by his place later", Jade laughed.
"Shut up", I repeated throwing one of the huge gumballs at him. "He's just a friend okay."
"I bet, I bet" Valerie laughed.

Nothing From Nowhere (Adam Carson) I'm No One At All Part 6

"Happy birthday!!!" Hunter yelled jumping up and down at the table.
"Chill Hunter", I laughed grabbing my brother's arm to calm him down.
"I'm sorry", Hunter said sitting back in his chair. "Its just that Adam just turned 33! I mean like in 7 years he'll be the 40 year old virgin." I laughed as Adam shot Hunter a look.
"I bet Ashley will change that", Valerie muttered eating he heavily frosted raspberry cake that Hunter had baked.
"Give Valerie 5 bucks and a bag of Cheetos and she'll change it", I countered.
"Calm down girls", Dad said. "I dont want you two fighting like hoes on the street on Adam's birthday."
"Oh he'd like that", Hunter said sipping some of the coffee he definitely didnt need. Our mom who was sitting next to Hunter, nudged him in the arm. Adam just laughed at the thought as he sat at the table with a piece of cake I have no idea how he was going to eat in front of him. He seemed to be getting happier from when I first met him. I dont know what it was. Dad kept saying it was me, but I didnt believe him.
I started laughing, too. Not from the image of me totally beating Valerie's ass, but because of Adam's birthday present from me: a Ghost Face Killer from Scream mask. I always thought that mask looked like that one funny painting of the shocked person on the dock that everyone thought was so amazing.
"Ok guys I gotta go", Valerie said. "I got to go help Jade with some case reports."
"Yeah, case reports", I said making my infamous hand to crouch motion that indicated that she was most likely going to end up giving Jade head.
"Shut up", she said throwing her spoon at me.
"Well I also have actual case reports to do alone", I said standing up. "So I better get going too."
"See you later", Hunter exclaimed tackling Valerie and I into an over dramatic hug.
"Unfortunately", I said struggling out of his grip. "Bye Mom and Dad. Bye Adam. Happy birthday."
Put on your face and let's pretend,

"12:00", the clock flashed at me through the darkness of my room. I sighed and rolled over onto my back. I usually got to sleep way earlier than that to prepare myself for the horrid morning I was sure I was going to have, but that night I couldnt. Usually when I couldnt get to sleep, it just meant I was lonely. I just need someone to sleep with. But who? I defiantly wasnt going to my parent's or Hunter's because I didnt want to seem like a little kid and I Hunter was the kind of guy that probably slept hanging from the ceiling in a straight jacket or something. And Valerie and Jade were too busy with their case reports and I wasnt about to get in the middle of that. Same with Davey. That left only one person. I'm sure he probably didnt care for people sleeping in the same bed as him, but it was worth a shot. I got out of bed, slipped on my South Park house shoes, and grabbed my car keys.
I hardly wanted to even look at that apartment complex, but being in it, at night? I was practically running down the dingy hallway to Adam's apartment. Atleast it was better than the Condor Cave I live in. I finally reached Adam's worn door and without even meaning to, banged frantically on it. He probably thought someone was being killed out there.
After about 30 seconds, the door opened to reveal a man wearing a Ghost Faced Killer mask with Sponge Bob pajamas that Hunter had gotten him for his birthday. Even though I knew who it was, the sight still caused me to jump. Adam chuckled.
"Sorry, I scared you, again", he laughed. "Anyways what's up?"
Uhhh", I said embarrassed. This sounded way better in my mind. "Umm. I couldnt sleep and I was wondering if I could stay here." I half expected him to slam the door in my face, but instead he did the exact opposite.
"Sure", he replied stepping aside. "Come in." The inside of Adam's apartment was so dark, I would think I'd just got sucked into some black abyss if it wasnt for the man beside me.
"I can't see anything", I complained feeling around for the wall and clinging to it as if it was the only thing holding me from getting sucked into the unknown.
"I'll turn on the light", I heard Adam say through the darkness. A few seconds later an extremely dim black light came on. I could still barely see, but my sight was still well enough for my to see well... Nothing. There was nothing in the living, but a small television set on a box, but there was no couch or coffee table or anything else to make the apartment look more homely.
"Where is all your furniture?" I inquired thinking the surely must be some reason his apartment was so placid.
"Well since I'm hardly ever home, I never thought it fit to buy furniture", he answered sitting on his floor. "Anyways why dont you take my bed. I'll sleep here."
"On the floor? You have to be more rested than me in the morning. You sleep in the bed."
"Why dont we share it." At that moment, I was actually afraid for a second that that wasnt Adam and I had just walked into the apartment of some psycho guy that just happened to be wearing the same thing as Adam and was planning on raping the next person who came knocking on his door.
"I mean it is big enough", he said quickly. He was blushing. I could hear it.
"If it's okay with you."
Adam sat in disbelief for a few seconds before getting up. "Okay. My room's this way." I followed Adam as far as I could before we got to the threshold of the hallway and he flicked off the already insufficient light along with the only sight my eyes had to work with and I was blind again.
"This way", Adam said taking my hand and guiding me down the dark path. The hallway obviously wasnt that long because after a few seconds, I heard the creaky wail of the bedroom door opening. I could see a little better in his room due to the dim white light of the street lights and moon. His room was almost as empty as the rest of his room. The only thing that was in the room, in fact, was the bed in the middle of it. It big for only having one person sleeping in it. Defiantly big enough for two. My drowsiness caused me to practically float over to the bed and bury myself in the far as I could tell black comforter and almost immediately fall asleep. Adam climbed into bed beside me. I looked over and through the almost non existent light, saw he still had his mask on.
"Why dont you take that off so you dont suffocate", I suggested. He didnt answer, but just stared at the ceiling and I understood why.
"I won't look or anything."
"You promise?" he asked still staring at the ceiling.
"Promise." Adam lay there for a few seconds longer before sitting up, looking down at me to make sure I wasnt looking (which I dont know how he could see me or anything through the darkness of his entire apartment), and pulling the mask off while I lay there with my eyes clothes. He threw the mask on the floor beside the bed and lay back down.
Assuming it was okay and out of curiosity, I opened my eyes. Due to the small amount of light, I was only able to see his outline and his head of short, disheveled hair. Dark I guessed. But then again, in that room everything was dark. It fit Adam just fine because everything about him seemed to be dark, too. Being in his room felt like being in his mind. I wish I could shed some light in it.

Nothing From Nowhere (Adam Carson) I'm No One At All Part 4

"You go first", I said to Valerie.
"No you", she said back.
"Why did you two come to a karaoke party anyway if you weren't going to sing?" Adam asked from his spot on the couch that was practically on the other side of the living room.
"Are you going to sing?" I asked him. He just looked down at the ground and fiddled with his fingers.
"That's what I thought", I said. I raised my voice. "Besides us singing is nothing compared to the angelic voice of my older brother in there."
"...You really think so?" Hunter asked from the bathroom where he was still marinating.
"Yeah!" I called back trying to everything possible to stroke his ego. "I hear your voice. It's like an angel sighing"
"...I love that song!" he called automatically recognizing my Madonna reference.
"Well come sing it! My soul won't be complete until you sing your sweet music to it."
"I'll be right out!" Hunter called back in a more cheery tone over the swishing of the water in his bath tub.
"Well guys", I said turning my attention back to the people in the room with me. "Prepare to hear Madonna for the rest of the night." I loved my brother to death and thought he had an amazing voice, but when you got him started singing, he really didnt know when to stop.
"So what shall we do while we wait for him to get ready", I asked. "Because know him, he probably has a suit and everything he has to change into."
"Lets play truth or dare" Valerie suggested.
"Okay", I agreed. "Adam you go first."
He looked up. "Uh truth", he said like he was scared that if he said dare we'd have him stripping or something.
"Uh... ok", I said thinking about a question. "What do you look like under that hood?"
"Uhh like what?"
"Like, what color hair do you have? What color eyes?" I only asked that of him because I knew he wouldnt be comfortable if I asked him anything else.
"I have short dark hair", he described. "With blue eyes."
"Who cuts your hair?" Valerie asked.
"Hunter", he replied.
"You poor thing", I laughed remembering how Hunter cuts his own hair. He laughed too.
"Ok your turn, Ashley", Valerie said. "Truth or dare."
"Dare", I said immediately. I loved truth or dare and was excited about doing dares and always chose that. Unless I was lazy and didnt feel like doing the things my friends commanded of me.
"Ok um", Valerie thought. "I dare you to kiss Adam." Adam's laugher stopped and his blue eyes widened.
"Are you sure he's going to let me?" I asked looking at the shocked expression on the only part of his face that I could see: his eyes.
"Its just on the cheek", Valerie explained to Adam. "You don't even have to take your little hood off. Please Adam?"
Adam put his face in his hands and nodded. "Okay." I got up and went over to the couch where he was. He raised his head up from his hands and I leaned in and put my lips to the side of his covered face. The fabric was warm against my lips probably from the fact that he wore it all day. I pulled away and looked at Adam. I couldnt see his face but I knew he was blushing. He was shaking. He was acting like I was about to eat him. I had made him really nervous.
"What are you doing?" I heard a familiar voice ask. I looked up and saw Hunter standing at the threshold of the hallway wearing his famous neon orange and green pinstripe suit and smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"Nothing", I said quickly. "Its just truth or dare."
"Whatever", he said sitting on the couch next to Adam. "Stop shaking. You know you liked that Adam."
Adam looked up at me, but quickly turned away when he saw I was still looking.